From that date at the top of the page,
I was only about two months
away from shipping out for navy bootcamp.
Life from a psychological point of view
at that point was beginning to build up
like a pot of water getting ready to boil over.
Had many many thoughts running
around my head then. Most were positive
but some were pure chaos!
I was beating myself up here a bit for
never really putting my ALL... into anything.
Mostly just skating through life.
Truth be told... the navy years were the same.
Had a blast most of the time, but really
didn't apply myself much. Always scamming,
trying to find ways to get around
the status quo.
Seems on this day, I picked up a pen,
not a pencil... and spewed those chaotic thoughts
down on paper. It must of really eased
that boiling over mode back then,
because just reading this now today
April 7, 2026...
is having a calming affect on me LoL
Spewing is simply the best!
And should be mandatory...
for any chaotic moment in your life!!!!
And oh... Bryan and Cary were neighborhood
friends who were already in the military.
Bryan was a marine. And Cary was in the navy.
In fact Cary and I ended up on the same
ship together... the USS Nimitz.
Unbelievable right!
Untitled / Unfinished... 31
Aug 30 "81"
Seeking my deliverance
from this misbegotten place!
You like that?
How often have you used your brain?
I mean really used it?
Don't you huh
Most likely not enough
I should know...
I skipped through school and shit like that
without really trying.
You know, cheating on tests and stuff.
Well I made it through school,
But I could have done a lot better!
So now when I get in the navy,
I'm gonna kick ass.
I have to show someone that I can really do it.
That when there's a problem in front of me
that I can solve it.
Do you know who that someone is I have to show?
Give up?
Laugh if you want,
but that someone is me!
I've been faced with all kinds of shit,
family and otherwise. I'm still here.
But I never really gave anything my
total attention. As you can see from my spelling.
I can't wait. I know it's gonna be hard,
but I'm gonna do it.
I'm counting on the people I know to keep
in touch with me while I'm away. Now I will
be in the position that Bryan, Cary and
other people I know who are in.
I'm gonna write more often.
But the only worry I've got is my parents.
I know they can get along without me,
but it's just the thing of being so far away
from them. If they're not happy, I'm not happy.
I think the thing that I'm doing will
bring us closer together.
I don't like the space that is between us at times.
Just a thought... tommy
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