Under the Gun

tommyrawblog@gmail.com

Okay... here we go again!

I have just a handful of disasters left involving my navy boot camp days before we get
to the Nimitz stuff.


Now they may not seem to be so nightmarish to you, but just try and put yourself in my shoes for the moment. I bet it will certainly at least enhance your entire reading experience,
if not make you cry! LoL


This one here is a quickie.

And the photos are actually of us
during that time period... too cool.


I have a yearbook of our boot camp experience. I don't even remember anyone taking them... but here they are. Try not to laugh too hard!
Well okay... go ahead!!

Under the Gun

The first morning of boot camp was possibly the worst morning of my life; I shit you not!

Oh my goodness look at this fuckin' mess! This was November 1981 and straight out of the movie "Stripes"... this was our very first company formation.  This is actually us. I know everyone of those faces. I don't see myself but I'm in there somewhere... LoL We were in Orlando, Florida for boot camp. This was right after we had our fuckin' heads shaved. Too funny huh? The only thing that will ever come to mind when I see this photo
is one of the greatest lines in the Stripes movie...
"Hey... we're walkin"... LoLoLoLoL  oh crap!

The shocking reality of my decision to enter into the military kicked in with all the fury
of a drunken riot.

It all began at about four o’clock in the morning, as the lights went on and people began screaming obscenities at us from every direction, just like you see in the movies.

Now, I have to tell ya that I am definitely not a morning person. So, this was bad, very bad. I just wanted to cry, and then punch myself in the face for signing on the dotted line. But there was no time for crying, because we were too busy being yelled at.

I now wish I had this on videotape. Ninety sleepy, dopey losers, trying to stand erect, and in a straight line no less, while being verbally assaulted by five Petty Officers
must’ve looked hysterical.

This was us on a typical day and not one of those over-the-top crazy... get the shit kicked out of us days. There was 45 of us on this side of the room and 45 guys directly across from us. You'll be hearing about those guys across from me in a story called "Sqish Flip... Squish Flop"... in about 6 stories from now... oh boy! The front of the room and head (bathrooms) were at the other end of the room to my left. That's me right in the middle of the pic... 3rd from the right. Look at that fuckin' horrible posture would'ya... lol I recognize the other faces like it was yesterday. Too funny.

We were all in fucking shock for goodness sake.

Environmental shock!

These assholes were like bumble bees pollinating flowers. Only they weren’t pollinating, they were just shitting on us!

Didn’t they know it was only four o’clock in the fucking morning? That would be in the A.M. Dude, what a horror!

Looking back at that whole situation, it really seems so hilarious. Can you imagine actually being one of those officers doing the yelling? Now, how fuckin’ great must that have been? Pretty cool, I bet.

But, unbelievably, this was not the worst part of the worst morning of my 20 year history. We still had'ta go to the bathroom
and take care of our business.

So, our commanding top dog P.O. screamed out for us to file into the head. (That means bathroom to those military a-holes.)

We quickly filed in and the line of guys reached out into the main portion of the barracks. I hadn’t been in the bathroom yet, so boy,
was I in for quite a surprise.

When I got inside, I remember the Petty Officers were running in and out yelling and screaming for us to hurry up, and to get back out
into the barracks.

Finally, I made it into the head, and c'mon dude, I just wanted to vomit! There were about fifteen stalls inside. And do you know how many doors there were? Fuckin’ none!
Not a door in fuckin’ sight.

You just had to stand in front of your assigned stall and wait for the guy already crapping to finish up. Can you think of a more disgusting, and odor-filled way, to begin your day? Man, I wanna vomit right now just thinkin’ about it.

I began to wonder again just what the hell I had gotten myself into. In fact, that question would come up quite often during the weeks to come. And, get this, you were only allowed to use ten pieces of toilet paper. That’s it! I shit you not. (No pun intended)

We were supposed to conserve. Are they kidding me, or what? Fuck, I use more than that
to blow my friggin’ nose.

So there I was, sitting on the bowl, with another loser standing there right in front of me on morning one, waiting his turn. Unbelievable!

Here I was goin’ through culture shock, and now they put me under the gun to crap.
What’s next, jerkin’ off in unison!

Life was really sucking at this point! I was fed up to here already with this whole set up, and I exploded with controlled rage.

“Hey man, can you at least turn the fuck around, so I can shit! What am I a fuckin’ dog? You gonna sniff my fuckin’ ass when I’m finished?
Jesus fuckin’ Christ!”


Oh man, I was in hell! I had Lucifer and his henchmen running around shouting obscenities at me, just as my index finger poked its way through the tenth sheet.

Now, it was time to cry!!! LoL