Looking for Guidance but Ended Up on a Highway To Hell

tommyrawblog@gmail.com

From my mouth to God's ears...

hang onto your Rosary Beads kids,

it's gonna get a bit bumpy!

Follow me down the

Highway To Hell

as I completely crumble under pressure...
again...
right before the hand of God! LoL

Too funny... wait, you'll see.

Looking for Guidance

but Ended Up on a

Highway To Hell

Okay, so how come there’s no talk of religion

in this stupid blog thing anyways huh?

Well, you know, you guys are right!

So, I’m gonna give you a little religion,
right here in this very entry.

Now, you may still call me a heathen after

all is said and done, but at least

I know in my heart of hearts,

I never meant to be "The Court Jester"...

... this time around!
It just sort'a happened.

This story here involves both my ex-wife Lynn, and myself. It happened back in 1996 when we both drove up to Boston Massachusetts,

for a long weekend of sightseeing & baseball.

I contacted a ticket broker, and he scored us 2 ninth row tickets to see the Boston Redsox

and the New York Yankees play

at the legendary Fenway Park ball field.

The seats were awesome!

We sat only nine rows back from the field, directly in front of the Yankees on deck circle. We saw Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte pitch. I’m pretty sure the Yankees won the game 4 to 2.


Here are some pix from the game
and around town.

Anyway, my encounter with the “hand of God” happened the day prior to the game. We were on our way to the old Boston Garden Arena.

That’s where the Celtics and the Bruins used to play their basketball, and hockey games. They were having an auction to sell off anything,
and everything that could bring in a buck.

The new arena had been completed right next door. And they were now ready to retire
the old girl, and make the move.

Well, it was at the start of this endeavor where I had my encounter with the hand.
Of God, that is!

Lynn and I decided to take the subway down to the Garden. Now, being from out of town,
we weren’t really sure about what train

we were supposed to take.

So, we just walked into the station, got in line
to buy our tokens, and got some directions

at the same time.

Man, you should’ve seen the subway. It was like little Matchbox cars compared to the humongous subway system here in New York.

But anyway, there we were in line looking at the subway map, and trying to decide which train we should take when I just said fuck it, lemme ask this guy in front of us on line for help.

It was here at this point where the bottom dropped out, and I guaranteed myself a one-way ticket to the hottest of all places down below, HELL!

Let me walk you guys through it.

Oh, crap, it was such a disaster.

I never had a chance! LoL

I reached over Lynn, and tapped on the shoulder of the guy in front of us.

“Hey buddy!

Hey man!

What train do we hav’ta take to get to……........”

Then it happened.

I abruptly stopped my crude and rather uncouth assault of tapping and words,
as soon as I spotted it.

It,

being a big,

bright,

fucking white,
collar,

clutching my new buddy’s neck!

Holy crap, he was a priest!

From his head down to his toes,

and all the way back up to that big,

bright white collar...

a priest!

And me...
well I was still just an idiot!

From head to toes... an idiot!

This just threw me into a tailspin that I would never recover from. I’m sweating bullets
right now just writing this. LoL

So, there I was, stopped dead in mid sentence, just totally dumbfounded. I had'ta say something quick to recover from the crudeness
of my tapping and verbal assult.

So, what did I say?

Oh man, ya holdin' onto those beads???

In mid sentence, just as I spotted the

square white "hand" around his Godly neck...
I changed the course of my verbal assault
into a full out stammering retreat!
Complete with red-faced embarrassment!
As these ridiculous words came tumbling
outta my fuckin' retarded mouth...
without interruption!

“OH MY GOD!

I mean, NO... not God!

Uhhh, oh, Jesus Christ help me!

OH NO!

NOT Jesus Christ!

Oh God!

NO!

I mean...

Oooooh man!”

LoLoLoLoLoLoLoL...

the fucking words just wouldn't stop
comin' outta my stupid mouth!!

Could you believe it?

I sunk faster than the fucking Titanic!

I just kept digging the hole deeper and deeper everytime I opened my mouth.

I should’ve just told him that he had a piece of food hangin' from his fuckin’ chin,

just for good measure!

The priest didn’t even flinch!

He just stood there, and watched me babble on like a fool. Oh man, I was sinking fast!

The whole time this was going on, I remember the actions of the guy in front of my new buddy priest. I remember seeing the back of his head and shoulders just jerking up and down with silent laughter, as I was solidifying my seat

upon the Lucifer Express downtown!

It turned out that he was a priest himself, traveling along with my new friend. He just stood there and laughed his Godly balls off,

while I was hitting rock bottom!

He never even turned around to witness my blasphemy. Just hearing it was enough to make him lose his composure, and start cracking up.

Man, I eventually gained enough poise to ask the priest if we were getting on the right train.

And, after he gave us his assurance that we were heading for the right one, he just turned, and faced forward. After that, neither one of them looked back at us the rest of the time

we were on line.

But I know damn well that they both

had ear to ear grins on their faces!

They had to...
because it’s not everyday
that you bump into such an
unorthodox, off the wall,
and completely unfiltered individual,

like Tommy Mondello.

And if you're gonna thank God for something... well then you'd better thank him for that!

There...

now religion has been covered... LoL