Please... Put a Leash on that Kid Would'ja!

tommyrawblog@gmail.com

Please…
Put a Leash on that Kid Would'ja!

This is just one of those quick stupid stories that kinda reconfirms how things truly are.


And that is...
that your mutha...
knows about EVERYTHING!

Remember Mother Nature in the
Public Enemy Number One entry??



Well, I was hangin’ out with Ronnie again.
That’s right, Mario fucking Andretti.

Only I was doin’ the driving this time.

That's me in the middle and Ronnie on the right.
Not sure what year this was but I had hair... let's leave it at that LoL
That's our other best bud Gregg Ponciano on the left.
I don't know why he was never with us on these drunken lunch excursions.
And yes... all 3 of us are feeling NO pain in this photo! : )

We used to always go to the deli on
Jewett Ave right by Victory Blvd. The name escapes me at the moment, but it was right next to where Al's pizzeria used to be.
This was about 1978, '79 maybe '80ish.


We'd grab a couple gigantic hero sandwiches, some salad's, a few bags of chips and pretzels, along with a couple of six packs... of course.
And oh, don't forget about the crunchy pickles!

We’d drive over to Watchogue Road and park in the Holy Family church parking lot. Which was less than a 5 minute drive from the deli.
Always angling the car facing out towards Watchogue road. It was like we were at a fucking Drive-in movie... LoL


And that's where we would hangout, eat, and have some of the funniest moments and laughs of our stupid lives. Ya gotta love alcohol!


Then we'd usually go pick up some more beer and cruise around Staten Island to drink and laugh the rest of the day away.

We had some of the greatest times of our silly lives during those excursions.

But, of course after drinking many beers, what do you think happens? That’s right, just like during Driver's Ed, we had'ta pee!


Only this time we didn't pee on an overpass wall! Thinking back, maybe we should have?

By this time we were driving along a road called Richmond Ave, out past the mall. This was when Richmond Ave was still a very small road, and not the built up monster that it is today.

So, we pulled the car over to the curb,
jumped out, and ran over to some
tall grass alongside the road.

Hey what can I tell ya... when ya gotta go...
ya gotta go my friend!


We took care of business,

and then continued on our big sandwich eatin', alcohol laced, laughter filled jocular journey.

Well, eventually the beers were gone, our jaws were aching from too much laughter, and hours of very bad loud singing. It was time to call it a day. And besides, it was getting pretty close
to dinner time as well.

So I dropped Ronnie off at his house on

Van Name Ave, and drove around the block

to Simonson Ave to head for home.

I made it just in time for dinner too!

Funny how that works out huh?

My 2 brothers' and I piled our plates high and walked into the dining room where we had our usual arguing about who was going to get the seat with the good view of the TV.

We always watched re-runs of Hogan’s Heroes during dinner time. But never…
with our elbow’s on the table!

(Careful, don’t let that sarcasm

land on your toes! Oh be quiet!)

My parents always ate dinner in the kitchen.
They needed a break from us 3 animals,
for a little portion of the day, anyway.
Just to keep their sanity ya know.

After dinner was over, my mom and I
started talking. And out of the blue,
she hits me with this beauty.

“Were you and Ronnie

on Richmond Ave today?”

“Uuuhhh, I don't think so, maybe!

We could’ve been.”

She then said...

“I could swear I saw you and Ronnie
standing on the side of the road.
What were you doing there?”

As if she didn’t know!

She just wanted me to say it

and admit that I was busted.

I stammered...

and desperately searched for a viable reply.


But it was too late.
My stammering turned to
outright sensory overload... LoL

The pressure was just too much...

And so... I folded...

just like the cheap card table

you use at Christmas dinner.

“Okay Okay, we were peeing!

We had'da go to the bathroom!

Crap! Crap!

Can’t I get away with anything!?
C'mon man!"

My mom calmly gave me that little smirk,
the way ALL mothers do,
just to reconfirm the fact
that she was still in control
of all things...... Tommy!

Man, busted again.

And even though she didn't suspect that we were urinating Budweiser, it still bewildered me as to why I could never get away with anything.

And good thing she didn't suspect. Otherwise my ass would've been in a sling for sure.


Being young and stupid
was so much fun wasn't it!!
Man... I was so good at it too! LoL

But it’s got to be a pretty disgusting thing,
to be driving along and all of the sudden
see your stupid son standing
on the side of the road pissing.
Oh what a proud moment that must have been for my poor mother hahahahaha...
Oh man I can't stop laughing as I'm typing!

What a ridiculous thing for a mother to witness.

And, to get busted for!

It was just another tricky day
for us my friend.

Just another tricky day.

(Thanx to Pete Townshend

for that last line. Awesome!)