Saturday, April 12, 2014

How to Put the Pleasure Back in Driving

White line fever...

Oh my goodness...
please don't tell me you retards think I mean to snort some coke to put the pleasure back in driving.

You weren't thinking that right... LoL

My Philosophy on...

How to Put the Pleasure Back in Driving

Could you imagine if this country, the United States of America, and it's people were judged by the rest of the world on how we treat one another on our highways and byways!

This country would be laughed at and hated, even more than it already is
by the masses around the globe.

That's how bad we treat each other out there on our roadways. Fucking disgusting
if you'd ask me.

I don't know what happens to people once they get behind the wheel of an automobile, but it's not pretty. In fact it's down right disrespectful and not to mention dangerous.

Why don't we give a shit whatsoever for anybody else out there on the road?

Why is our destination always more important than everyone elses?

How can a perfectly well-mannered individual, male or female, completely transform into the biggest of muthafucking assholes
once they get behind that wheel?

The only reason it could possibly be is that these fuckers just don't give a shit about anyone else... but themselves.

Thus ignoring what's developing around their vehicle, which leads them into dangerous situations, that YOU/WE have to react to and make adjustments for, while the asshole just plows on down the road without even the hint of giving a fuck about any of it!! You dick!

That text message they're reading or sending is much more important to them than you or I, or our well being. Just selfish muthafucker's that's all, and unfortunately there's nothing that you or I can do to change who they truly are inside. If they're a dick on the roadways, then you can only come to the conclusion that they are truly dicks
within the rest of their existence!

Face it, a dick will ALWAYS be a dick!
No matter the situation.

And that goes for you women as well.
If you're one of the selfish a-holes out there, then you are most certainly a cunt! I wasn't gonna use that rather rough word at first, but ya know what?? YOU ARE! I was just going to say the “c” word, but I'm too pissed off to hold back!

And if you got offended by the use of it, it only means you ARE one of the selfish ones. A normal person would understand the anger and realize that it's only a word. But if you are offended, then you shouldn't be reading

my blog in the first place!
See ya later... cunt!

Can you selfish a-holes please
put down the damn cellphones!!

You're like a little 10 year old kid who is addicted to a toy with those gadgets of yours.

It's a sad state of affairs that for the most part we have to depend on pure luck really, to keep us away from these idiot's and out of harms way.

Is that text message you're sending
really worth risking MY life over?

You fuck!!

We are all just one text away
from being rear-ended.

And I witness it everyday
while I'm out there driving the bus around.

The only way I see that we can ever take back our roadways, and put the thrill and pleasure back into driving, is to develop some sort
of instant retribution.

Instant payback if you will!

No wait, 
payback isn't the right word,
it's really instant sentencing.

Payback is too vindictive.
We need the gavel of righteous justice to fall instantly on these distracted assholes. One last attempt to give these people a chance to grow the fuck up and to respect the person in that vehicle next to them, and actually learn to be courteous, or be thrown in jail!

You would think that such a personality trait would be instilled in a persons DNA right?

I mean, the very first thought that enters my mind when I see something developing out there on the roadways is... how can I help that asshole who just got himself into that mess.

I don't always help though!

If there's no real danger to anyone, I just let the fuckhead stew within his bad judgement and decision. But if there's a possibility that he or she might actually do some damage to an unsuspecting driver alongside them, I do what needs to be done to give the dick an escape route. It defuses the situation even before the unsuspecting knucklehead ever knew

he was in danger.

I see SO MANY close calls out there

on the roadway day in and day out.

So like I was saying, you would think that being courtious and respectful to others would be

hard-wired into our DNA right?

But it's not!

It has become the forgotten trait in today's society hasn't it? A new wave of common senseless behavior has been thrust upon us where both the young AND older are guilty of it.

So being the judge and jury all within a second, and handing down the proper sentence right there on the spot will have to be
the new way of life on our roadways!

Now I know this is going to sound out there, and a bit ridiculous, but you have to think outside the box my friend. It's 2014, not 1955.

Because you know as well as I do that
we're not going to force that asshole
off the road, pull them out of the car
and then punch them in the face right?

Well I'm not gonna anyways.

Even though I'm sure that does happen. But since we aren't on the set of a Hollywood action film where no one ever gets hurt or goes to jail after such events, we're going to have

to come up with something else right?

And believe me, I've replayed so many fictitious scenarios in my head after someone has cut me off or nearly killed me. I'm sure you have as well. We all do it I bet.

Where suddenly you become John Rambo or the fuckin' Terminator, in your mind of course, and you see yourself chasing that asshole down, pulling them out of the car and beating
the ever-loving crap outta them.

Hey we're only human, thoughts like this race through our minds from time to time, so relax will ya, you're just as normal as the rest of us.

We have to invent some kind of contraption that will give a driver the ability to somehow zap or jolt that insane, selfish, out of control asshole driver back into the arms of sanity.

Just like this...

Selfish dickhead being zapper by the "Tommy Mondello Asshole Driver Zapper"
... and no, I don't know this dude!
But how perfect is this picture... LoL

... causing this to happen...
Selfish dickhead driver's phone bursting into flames after being zapped!

That's the ONLY way
we will ever get our roadways back.
Instant retribution, right there on the spot.

Make those fucker's shit 'n piss their pants, literally, by zapping them with a few thousands volts seconds after their disrespectful
ways put your life in danger!

There has to be a way where the device only gets activated when the other driver does something dangerous or just plain disrespectful
so you can't abuse the privilege.

And yes, you can get zapped too my friend!

It would be a great deterrent dont'cha think?

Because lets face it, that asshole knows damn well that there is absolutely nothing you can do to them. They already know you're running that same stupid sad fictitious Ramboesk scenario through your head. And that the chances of you being one of those very very few people crazy enough to actually follow through with that
is one in a million.

So they just move right on down the road without giving it a second thought. The only thing they see in their rearview mirror is a cloud of dust, a red-faced open-mouthed driver, and the faint silhouette of an intensely extended
middle finger raging at them.

And do you really think that he or she gives a flying fuck about that finger? He doesn't, and she just laughs at you, and your rage. Which in turn makes you even more mad and upset. Leaving you no choice but to have an outburst of some kind usually in the form of roadrage.

And that's never a good idea.

That just makes you as bad
as the asshole who cut you off.

Until this becomes a reality, my “zapping contraption thing”, or whatever form the instant retribution comes into play, they will continue to ruin the experience of driving for the rest of us.

The hammer of justice really must fall hard upon them, instantly. Because the genie is already out of the bottle, our roadways flat out suck,
and he's not going back in
any time soon, on his own at least.

It's too bad that the human race
has lost most, if not all of it's sensitivities.

We have become much too hardened and unaffected by the horrible events of the day that lead the evening news every day AND night.

Our tolerance to “bad things” happening is way too high. Nothing seems to soften our demeanor these days. We laugh at red-blooded carnage for crying out loud. So do you think that something as trivial as this, a selfish act towards someone in their car, has ANY affect on them whatsoever?!

That's why the hammer that falls
has to be one big huge muthafucka!

It just has to be to drive our point across.
And that point being...
that we want our roadways back!

We want to feel safe within the pleasure of a Sunday morning drive once again without fearing an encounter with one of you jackoff's.

And who knows, the way technology is moving forward so fast these days, there just might be something like this coming down the pike. Anything is possible right?

Whoever thought that their phone would be built right into their steering wheel for goodness sake. It really could come to fruition,
I really think it could.

But in the meantime, just try to drive with caution, and keep that middle finger well oiled and always at the ready!

No no no... LoL... only kidding,
take it easy will ya. Just fuckin' with ya.

Keep that finger in the holster, because you just may whip that thing out and point it
at the wrong person one day.

You know, that steroid using Ramboesk nutjob who WILL chase you down and beat your ass. I've witnessed that as well.
Yeah, that really does happen!

So forget that shit.

You know as well as I do that there really are a lot of crazies who wouldn't think twice about running you off the road just because you reacted to their stupidity with that finger.
Silly right?

They initiated the finger in the first place by probably cutting you off and then get upset when you react with said finger
after their careless action.

The gene pool in this country my friends is really wearing very thin. Very thin indeed.

Our only defense is to try and keep an eye out for the dicks. That's really all we have. Our best offense is an aggressive defense.

They're very easy to spot, the assholes I mean, most of the time. Just try to anticipate a little bit and let the jerkoff do what he needs to do.

The faster he does, means the faster he gets the fuck away from you and your car, family,
and your health!

Okay... I feel better now... LoL
Just had to get that out.

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