Friday, August 9, 2013

Just Flat Out Creepy

Okay... here's a quick one!

And yes... I'm sorry...
but it does involve a pulsating penis.

And yes... it's mine... again.

And yes... I had to take things
into my own hands... again... LoL

But... this time it was for an official reason. Although it doesn't soften the impact of you visualizing me standing there with my dick in one hand... a porn mag in the other... glancing up to the mirror's reflection of me
turning Japanese... one bit!!

Sorry... LoL

Just Flat Out Creepy

Do you have children?

Well when I was still married there came a point when my ex-wife and I decided
it was time to start a family.

We tried and tried, but nothing happened. Not even so much as a missed menstrual cycle. So we made an appointment with my wife's gynecologist to find out what was going wrong. And he decided to have us take a few tests to determine what the issue might be.

Which meant, I'd be doin' the nasty, to myself!

There is just no mercy in this world is there?

Well sure enough, the doc sent me off to some clinic where I was to deposit a semen sample and have my sperm counted.

Feeling awkward and creepy just thinking about it, I couldn’t wait to get it over with.

I drove over to the location and the clinic offices seemed to come straight out of the fuckin' '70's.

Dingy dark brown wooden paneling covered every inch of that shit-hole. The waiting room was over-stuffed with offbeat chairs in every style imaginable. It had all the makings of a back room massage parlor wait room, offering up
a happy ending of course!

It was just really creeping me the fuck out. But hey, all I had to do was rub one out and leave right? So come to think of it, I kinda fit right in with the whole degenerate
looking scene anyways.

Just point me in the right direction
and lemme get to strokin'.

Finally, seconds before I was about to vomit from the reeking odor emanating from the scary individual sitting next to me, the nurse called out my name...Thomas Mondello.

Oh great, now every loser sitting in this Stephen King nightmare of a waiting room knows my name, and that I'm about to jerk off
in a fuckin' cup.

Lemme tell ya,
Rodney Dangerfield ain't got nuthin' on me
when it comes to getting no respect!

I followed the nurse into a room just down the hall. It didn't appear to be your normal doctor's office, which usually look clean, bright and sterile. This room ran along the same lines as that horrible waiting room, minus the big fat smelly fuck that was sitting next to me of course, as it also had that dark icky '70's feel to it.

Probably the perfect space to film a porno film. So maybe there was a method
after all to their madness.

She handed me a brand new sealed plastic bottle, pointed to a few dirty magazines
on the table, and said...

Have fun!
Just bring me the bottle
when you're finished.
I'll be out by the front desk...
and left the room.

I heard the door close, and there I stood, with a coffee table full of porn between me and my own bewildered reflection starring back at me from the huge hanging mirror on the wall.

I was officially inBazarro World”, yet again!

Now what?

How the fuck was I going to be able to concentrate in this place? I mean, you could still hear all the hustle 'n bustle as it walked
past the door just inches away.

I was beginning to feel the pressure to perform building. How the hell do those pornstars do this shit man? How do they push everything that's going on around them, camera's, lights, staff and such out of their focus
and concentrate on the task at hand?

Wow... my level of respect for those fuckers had just jumped tenfold! And so I tried my best to contact my inner pornstar and block out all of the distractions happening around me. It was now time to get primal and man up!

I blocked out everything, put my game face on, unzipped, slide my pants down to my ankles, looked at my reflection, and began cracking up with nervous laughter.

Not that it was the first time I'd ever had my dick in my hand in front of a mirror mind you, but it was the first while being in this situation; ya know, under the gun so to speak.

But I stood there laughing because in my mind, I just knew that there was a camera, or even a peep hole cut out in the wall somewhere in that fucking room, and all the nurses were about to watch me violate myself.
I just knew that it was happening.

Hey, I had seen a ton of movies where that very scenario played out, and they all had disastrous results. I mean could I have been
any more vulnerable?

Pants down to my ankles, cock in hand, and  about to try to e...jacufucking...late
into a friggin' cup.

The answer to that question would be
a gigantic NO!

I was practically a damsel in distress for crying out loud. So I'm a half'a chick about some stuff, get over it. Even Superman had kryptonite.

After allowing my imagination to run amuck for a few moments, I regained my composure, summoned my inner pornstar back into the fold and picked up a magazine from the table. It was time to get down to business.

And believe it or not, once I blocked out the chaos around me, it was pretty easy
to bang one out.

I was quite proud of myself to be honest with you. Maybe being a pornstar wasn't that difficult after all? Oh wait, you need a big cock dont'cha... I'm out!

And yeah don't worry dude, you're out too... lol

Well with all the accuracy of an Olympic athlete I shot pulsating gob after pulsating gob into that cup, catching the back of her throat... oh oh I mean the back of the bottle without missing.

Oh c'mon, as disgusting as that line was,
ya gotta admit
you didn't see it cumming!

And so I triumphantly twisted the cap upon the now warmed bottle of baby-making goo, washed up, straightened out the magazines for the potential pornstar that followed me, pulled and zipped up, then proudly walked out the door into that very hustle 'n bustle
that was such a distraction earlier.

As I was walking down the hall, the nurse to whom I was to hand my goo was walking towards me followed by a very hot mom
and her little babygirl daughter.

As we crossed paths she instructed me to meet her up by the front desk, that she would be there in a moment. And so I turned and continued on my way to the front of the office.

But something seemed wrong:
I felt a strange sensation in my gut.

I instinctively turned back around and saw the nurse guiding the hot mom, oh, the very hot mom that is, and little babygirl daughter into the exact same room in which I had just performed
that disgusting act in.

I was horrified.

I remember murmuring to myself...

You have got to be kidding me.
Get the fuck outta here!
As I witnessed them disappear
into the room.

I then cried out loud to the nurse...

No... No... No... You can't bring that little girl in there! What the hell are you doing? You know damn well what just happened in there. It's still in the air, it's still reflecting in the mirror for goodness sake. Please don't bring her in there! 

 The smelly zombies in the waiting room all came to life as if the crying out was a calling to the dead for them to awaken. Mind your business you zombie bastards.

I raced towards the disappearing trio to try and stop them from entering but to no avail.
I clamored...

Why are you bringing them in here?
You know what I just did in here,
it's WRONG... it's just WRONG!

The hot mom had a tiny smirk of empathy on her face because she knew that I was just looking out for her daughter, but the nurse couldn't give a fuck whatsoever. She had a job to do
and that was that.

So she ignored my pleas and just walked over to the table and gathered up the neatly stacked porno mags and told me to follow her
back to the front desk.

She left the room, and I was left standing there with the very hot mom and kid, holding a bottle of warm fucking cum in my hands.

Can you feel my pain here or what?

I felt like such a dork. I looked down at the cum in my hand then down towards the kid. Then finally I looked up to that loveliest of hot moms, timidly shrugged my shoulders while my silly face filled up with true embarrassment
and just wanted to cry... LoL

All I could do was slither away and close the door behind me as I left the room while hot mom just stood there ever so slightly giggling.
I'm sure she felt my pain.

Crap was she hot!

It was really so horrible. It fucked me up for the rest of the entire day I tell you. Pretty creepy right? And please don't tell me that you think I was over-reacting?? Too icky for me man.

It would've been a different story though if hot mom was there all by herself.

I could have just made a crude remark about the cum in passing, been told to fuck off and die, and drove off into the sunset fully satisfied in knowing that the planets of the universe
were still in complete alignment.

Aah, nuthin' like being told to fuck off by a hot milf is there? Now that's livin' brother...
that's muthafucking livin'!

And yes, guys are complete jackasses at times,
I admit that.

So... have you ever jerked off... in a cup???

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