Saturday, November 9, 2013

The 13th Grade... (( part two )) All Apologies


Here's just a bit more silliness that went on while I attended DeVry Technical school
back in 1986.

The 13th Grade
(( part two ))

All Apologies

Here’s a few more memories of my DeVry mayhem and a continuation from
The 13th Grade (( part one ))

Head over to The 13th Grade
(( part three ))
after you're done here.

If you want to that is... LoL

Well, like I said in part one, most of us had gotten pretty close. So, there was a lot of tomfoolery going on in all of our classes. And it didn’t take much to get us started either.

As you know, a dare, can be a very strong catalyst for trouble. And, I don’t care how old you are, or how sophisticated you think you are. If someone dares you to do something, and if it’s not a life threatening situation,

you’re gonna think about doin’ it.

It may only be for a split second, but the thought of beating that dare will flash across your radar like Halley's Comet. That’s just our competitive nature. Accept the fact!

Like those times when we were sitting in class, just getting bored out of our minds. Suddenly, we became the cast of Mission Impossible.

Oh man, was this incredibly stupid.

It all began with one simple sentence.

I bet you can’t get outta this fuckin’ class without being seen!

And, that’s all it took.

Okay man, I’ll take that dare!

And like a squadron of Navy Seals making a commando raid on an enemy compound, bodies began shifting from one seat to another.

Slowly, methodically, moving closer
to the rear exit of the class.

Every time the teacher turned his back on us, another move would be made. It was like watching a fuckin’ chess match. And, what made it even funnier was that while one person was on the move, the rest of us would start humming the Mission Impossible theme, out loud.

(I just tried to figure out how to write that theme down on paper, and it got all screwed up. So, here... just click on this to get the effect of the madness! Fuck, we were so childish... LoL)

Man, it was so funny.

We had a pretty good success rate too. Sure, every once in awhile, someone would go down in flames and get busted. But it was well worth the risk of getting caught to escape from that electronic hell and to beat that dare as well.

We were so stupid, though. If we really wanted to leave, we could’ve just gotten up, and left. This wasn’t fuckin’ grade school. But no, not us, we had to add a little excitement to the day. Just remember now, I was like, 24 years old at this point! Most of the others were in their late teens. I was a fuckin' child-man, for goodness sake!

We were constantly downstairs in the president’s office for one reason or another.

Lateness was a big one.

We had a teacher who locked the doors one second after the bell rang. So, if you weren’t in that classroom on time, you weren’t getting in until you paid a visit to the man downstairs.

My friend Mike and I were on a first name basis with the DeVry president. We would knock on the door and chat for a few minutes about our lives. He would then give us a note,

and we would head back to class.

Silly, huh?

Remember now, we were paying big bucks to attend this stupid place. And here we were fucking around. Nutz!

Well, I gotta say that this next story was one of the funniest things to happen during our year and a half run at DeVry.

There’s not much to it, but being there and being apart of it, is something that I will never ever forget. And it wasn’t even me that got the laugh, it was Mike. I played the straight man

on this one.

Tommy Mondello and Mike DeVry graduation 1986
That's me and Mike at the DeVry graduation back in 1986
doing our best J.C. Penny magazine ad look.

It happened about two months into the school year. By this time, everyone pretty much knew one another, and our little study group was still in its infancy stage. So, we were still a little apprehensive about what it was
that we were learning.

Well, one day a lot of people in the class were just acting up beyond control. And, it was really interfering with what little teaching ability

this one specific teacher had.

Well, of all people, I was getting pissed off. Hey, I could be serious if I really put my mind to it! It doesn’t happen all too often, but I could.

No really, I could. Really!

Well, finally it got to the point where something had to be done. And, this fucking poor excuse of a teacher wasn’t about to do anything. So, I took it upon myself to take control of the situation.

I just stood up, and turned to everyone

with an extended index finger,
and calmly expressed my feelings.


I think we’ve had just about enough of this fuckin’ bullshit. So why doesn’t everyone
just shut the fuck up,
so I could learn something here!
Does anyone have a fuckin’ problem with that?No?
Okay Mr. So-n-So, they’re all yours!

I mean, who the fuck did I think I was, Arthur Fonzarelli! It was the The Great Divide

classroom take over all over again!

Well, the bottom line was that everyone quieted down and it now resembled a classroom once again. But, what do you think happened next?

Common sense would say that the teacher would thank me, and get on with the day’s lecture, right? Isn’t that what you would think?

Well, both of us couldn’t have been more wrong.

Finally, the teacher stood up, and began to show some backbone. But, his backbone and anger were focused in on me. I couldn’t believe it,

nor could the rest of the class.

Mr. Mondello, could you please stand up. Now please leave the room, and don’t return until you have a note from the president. I don’t think that foul language should be used in the classroom!

I was just as stunned as you guys are right now. I roared back……

Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? I just got this classroom to settle down so you could continue with your lecture, and you’re sending me downtown?

What the hell’s goin’ on here!

At this point all of the juvenile dickheads felt really bad that they were the reason why I got in trouble. So, they started to yell out for him not to send me down, that they were sorry,

and so on and so on.

Man, it was like one of those courtroom dramas where the good guy gets framed and everyone in the fucking theater knew it, but the judge who was on the take, sends him to jail for life anyways. It was just so funny,

and frustrating at the same time.

So, I just said……

Oh man!…… and left the room.

And I expect an apology from you

on your return to the whole class,
for using that language Mr. Mondello.

I just kept my mouth shut, and left. But what I really wanted to say was…… Fuck you, you useless piece a shit! If you had done your job in the first place, and got those assholes under control before things got outta hand, then I wouldn’t have had to say anything.

You fuckin’ loser you!

But I kept it together, turned towards the rest of the class, and we all just started laughin’.

I then went Downtown to see the man, again!

He started laughing himself when I told him the story. We talked about some other things for a few minutes, and then he handed me a note,

and said...

Just get your ass back to class, apologize to everyone, and let it go at that. I think he went a little overboard, but you did attack his pride by doing what you did. So, just shutup, and stay outta trouble for a few weeks okay!

He was so cool, wasn’t he?

And that’s exactly what I did. I walked back to class, handed my note to the dickhead, and agreed to apologize to the class. Man, did I feel like a real sweathog up there.

Everyone was cracking up with watered eyes. Cat-calls from the rear of the class were ringing in my ears. I was truly Vinnie Barbarino standing in front of Mr. Kotter and the rest of the hogs.

Well, I guess I apologize to all of you for cussin’. But, if you would’ve shutup in the first place, then I wouldn’t have had to curse! Anyway, I hav'ta say I’m sorry.

And so... I'm sorry!

Oh, man, it was so pathetic. A twenty-four year old person, standing in front of a classroom full of younger cat-calling, paper throwing assholes, apologizing for using foul language. Incredible! Is it just me, or what?

But wait, here comes the best part. While I was standing there with the class still rumbling with laughter, my friend Mike, also in his early 20's, proudly stood up and proclaimed……

Oh Tommy,
don’t fuckin’ worry about it!
We still fuckin’ love ya!

Tommy Mondello and Mike at DeVry graduation 1986
That's me and Mike in the lobby of the Landmark Inn on route 9
in Woodbridge, New jersey where the DeVry graduation was held.
Which is no longer in business.
That's Mike playing the piano. He's also a musician.
You may have even seen him perform.
He was in several bands that mainly played all along the Jersey shore.
The 2 I can remember are Wet Paint and The Party Dolls.


everyone heard this and practically fell outta their chairs laughing. It was just so great. And, it happened real fast. I said my thing then, bang, Mike stood up and let it fly!

The teacher just lowered, then shook his head with disbelief, and then sentenced Mike

to the very same punishment
in which he had just given me.

Everyone started to applaud and gave Mike a standing ovation as he made his way outta the classroom. Good grief it was so great! We both wore that downtown office out!

So, you see…… well…… I can’t really think of anything funny to say just yet. Oh, wait…… so you see…… fuck, that won’t work either!

Ahh crap, my wit has failed me.

Lets just end this mess by saying, that most of us a-holes got out of the 13th grade, with a 3.8 GPA or higher. And that my friend, is the bottom line.

Throw out the curse words, forget about the trips downtown, and never mind our trips to the tracks! I’ll let a 3.8 GPA do my talkin’ for me, thankyou!

Meet’cha down at Packee’s! Cheers!

Tommy Mondello and Mike at Bon Jovi show at Giants Stadium July 2006
Me and Mike at a Bon Jovi show.
Somehow I ended up with a few tix so we packed the cooler
and headed off to Giants stadium. Nickleback opened up... they sucked!
We stayed for about 2 or 3 Bon Jovi songs
then headed back out to the tailgating.
Mike is just one of the very very few people from my DeVry days
that I'm still in contact with from time to time.
He's an awesome muthafucka!