Saturday, January 17, 2015

Looking for Guidance but Ended Up on a Highway To Hell





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From my mouth to God's ears...
hang onto your Rosary Beads kids,
it's gonna get a bit bumpy!


Follow me down the
as I completely crumble under pressure...
again...
right before the hand of God! LoL
Too funny... wait, you'll see.










Looking for Guidance
but Ended Up on a
Highway To Hell


Okay, so how come there’s no talk of religion
in this stupid blog thing anyways huh?


Well, you know, you guys are right!


So, I’m gonna give you a little religion,
right here in this very entry.


Now, you may still call me a heathen after
all is said and done, but at least
I know in my heart of hearts,
I never meant to be "The Court Jester"...


... this time around!
It just sort'a happened.


This story here involves both my ex-wife Lynn, and myself. It happened back in 1996 when we both drove up to Boston Massachusetts,
for a long weekend of sightseeing & baseball.


I contacted a ticket broker, and he scored us 2 ninth row tickets to see the Boston Redsox
and the New York Yankees play
at the legendary Fenway Park ball field.


The seats were awesome!


We sat only nine rows back from the field, directly in front of the Yankees on deck circle. We saw Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte pitch. I’m pretty sure the Yankees won the game 4 to 2.


Here are some pix from the game
and around town.


Fenway Park 1996
Fenway Park 1996 New York Yankees batting practice
Fenway Park 1996... The Big Green Monster left field wall
One of our favorite New York Mets from the 1986 championship team Darryl Strawberry
A young Derek Jeter coming in after pre-game warm-up... too cool right! Yes I'm a Mets fan... but how could anyone ever root against this guy!!
Lynn & myself outside the Cheers Pub before we went in for a drink!
Tommy Mondello outside the Mama Kin rock club that was partially owned by Aerosmith. It was located right across from the back of the Green Monster! Club closed in '98
Aerosmith... Wings logo embedded into the front steps of the club... neat right!?


Anyway, my encounter with the “hand of God” happened the day prior to the game. We were on our way to the old Boston Garden Arena.


That’s where the Celtics and the Bruins used to play their basketball, and hockey games. They were having an auction to sell off anything,
and everything that could bring in a buck.


The new arena had been completed right next door. And they were now ready to retire
the old girl, and make the move.


Auction booklet displaying major items up for bid Boston Garden 1996
Tommy Mondello standing in the old  Boston Garden for the first... AND last time 1996
The old Boston Garden on auction day 1996
Old Boston Garden 1996 auction in progress. And no... we couldn't afford anything up for bid LoLoL


Well, it was at the start of this endeavor where I had my encounter with the hand.
Of God, that is!


Lynn and I decided to take the subway down to the Garden. Now, being from out of town,
we weren’t really sure about what train
we were supposed to take.


So, we just walked into the station, got in line

to buy our tokens, and got some directions
at the same time.


Man, you should’ve seen the subway. It was like little Matchbox cars compared to the humongous subway system here in New York.


But anyway, there we were in line looking at the subway map, and trying to decide which train we should take when I just said fuck it, lemme ask this guy in front of us on line for help.


It was here at this point where the bottom dropped out, and I guaranteed myself a one-way ticket to the hottest of all places down below, HELL!


Let me walk you guys through it.
Oh, crap, it was such a disaster.
I never had a chance! LoL


I reached over Lynn, and tapped on the shoulder of the guy in front of us.


Hey buddy!
Hey man!
What train do we hav’ta take to get to……........


Then it happened.


I abruptly stopped my crude and rather uncouth assault of tapping and words,

as soon as I spotted it.


It,
being a big,
bright,
fucking white,
collar,
clutching my new buddy’s neck!


Holy crap, he was a priest!


From his head down to his toes,
and all the way back up to that big,
bright white collar...
a priest!


And me...

well I was still just an idiot!
From head to toes... an idiot!


This just threw me into a tailspin that I would never recover from. I’m sweating bullets

right now just writing this. LoL


So, there I was, stopped dead in mid sentence, just totally dumbfounded. I had'ta say something quick to recover from the crudeness

of my tapping and verbal assult.


So, what did I say?


Oh man, ya holdin' onto those beads???


In mid sentence, just as I spotted the
square white "hand" around his Godly neck...
I changed the course of my verbal assault
into a full out stammering retreat!
Complete with red-faced embarrassment!
As these ridiculous words came tumbling
outta my fuckin' retarded mouth...
without interruption!


OH MY GOD!

I mean, NO... not God!

Uhhh, oh, Jesus Christ help me!

OH NO!

NOT Jesus Christ!

Oh God!

NO!

I mean...

Oooooh man!


LoLoLoLoLoLoLoL...
the fucking words just wouldn't stop
comin' outta my stupid mouth!!


Could you believe it?


I sunk faster than the fucking Titanic!


I just kept digging the hole deeper and deeper everytime I opened my mouth.


The priest didn’t even flinch!


He just stood there, and watched me babble on like a fool. Oh man, I was sinking fast!


The whole time this was going on, I remember the actions of the guy in front of my new buddy priest. I remember seeing the back of his head and shoulders just jerking up and down with silent laughter, as I was solidifying my seat
upon the Lucifer Express downtown!


It turned out that he was a priest himself, traveling along with my new friend. He just stood there and laughed his Godly balls off,
while I was hitting rock bottom!


He never even turned around to witness my blasphemy. Just hearing it was enough to make him lose his composure, and start cracking up.


Man, I eventually gained enough poise to ask the priest if we were getting on the right train.


And, after he gave us his assurance that we were heading for the right one, he just turned, and faced forward. After that, neither one of them looked back at us the rest of the time
we were on line.


But I know damn well that they both
had ear to ear grins on their faces!


They had to...
because it’s not everyday
that you bump into such an
unorthodox, off the wall,
and completely unfiltered individual,
like Tommy Mondello.


And if you're gonna thank God for something... well then you'd better thank him for that!



There...
now religion has been covered... LoL