Saturday, November 1, 2014

You're Nutz


Okay... I guess you can say
that this is the "prequel"
to the "Franken Balls" entry
from earlier in the blog.

It's just a quick replay
of my initial doctor visit that would
eventually lead to the FB story
years later.

This happened about 8 years ago
and the FB story occurred
some time during 2012.

But as far as this story goes,
well let's just say...
that my unfiltered mouth
is by far...
my most adoring quality... LoL

You're Nutz

So okay,
I had a gigantic nut, there I said it!
You know, testicle.

It's time to once again get silly,
and of course share with you
some more Mondello
insensitivity and embarrassment.

You just can't make this stuff up folks. At times I truly believe that there is something very very wrong with me and my mind. I mean, I'm pretty sure that normal people don't do and say things like what you're about to read.

Or at least I hope they don't!

Especially not in such a professional setting.

Here's just a very brief example
of what NOT to do during a doctor's visit.

Plain and simple, I'm an idiot.

And this is evidenced yet again during my short encounter with an incredibly cute doctor of Indian descent. An encounter with her, and a big nut. And yes,
I do mean my balls, and not myself silly.

One day I noticed that my balls were, well, well they were getting big. The left one to be exact.

Don't get me wrong, I always prayed to the gods of “porn” to gimme a bigger package, but this wasn't exactly
what I had in mind.

And of course my first thought was...
sarcastically of course...

Great, now I got the cock cancer... FUCK!
So much for praying to the “porn” gods.

And so I ended up at the doctor's office.
Where he took a quick look, then sent me on my way
to go see a scrotum specialist.
Okay you a-holes, a Urologist... happy!?

Well, I walked into her office, and there she was...
my next wife!

Oh man, she was the cutest little Indian babygirl that I had ever seen. And yeah, she was gonna get some lovin'
right here and now!

Not really, but I knew
I'd be dropping my draws in front of her at least.
Oh yeah! LoL
I was livin' the dream dude!

I felt the blood rushing towards my nether regions
as she actually spoke to me...

C'mon in Thomas... have a seat.

Holy shit, she knew my name!
Oh be quiet, I know she had my fuckin' chart
in front of her, don't ruin the fantasy will ya!

What seems to be the problem?

I gave her the low down and she says...

Okay then, lets see whats goin' on here.

Oh boy, my cock just wanted to rage, but I kept it at bay. She was just so cute and petite, I wanna whack off right now just thinking about her............................
Okay I'm done!

Only kidding, just had to go take a whiz.
And NO, you're wrong!
There's is NEVER too much information.

So as she walked around her desk I stood up and dropped my pants. And of course since I don't wear any underwear, my boys jumped right on out there anxiously awaiting
to be seen by their brand new owner.

Oh man, I'm hard right now just thinking about it.
But somehow I kept it together as she snapped on
her second rubber glove, and then without hesitation...
(I love this chick)... she grabbed a fistful 'o junk.


This had all the makings of a Penthouse Forum moment for sure. Well it did in my mind anyways.

I heard a few Mmmm's and a couple Haaw's...
and then, it happened!

My brand new babygirl Indian doctor wife for all of three and a half minutes, dropped down to her knees
right there before me.

Excuse me while I borrow a Kevin Costner line from that most amazing movie Field of Dreams...

Well, Iowa or New Jersey, it didn't really much matter, because I had to try with all my manly might NOT to pop a brainless boner and accidentally rub that red dot
right off of her forehead as she leaned in.

Only kidding... only kidding... LoL
I can't really recall if she had the dot or not.
But hey, how fuckin' funny was that line or what?
It's so much fun being stupid isn't it... :)

Well, there was another Mmmm and two more Haaw's then she gave me a brief overview of what she thought it most likely was. And explained that she wanted me to go
get a sonogram to confirm her theory.

Okay, cool, no problem doc

... was my reply.

I was just glad that she was pretty much 100% sure that it wasn't the cock cancer that I thought it was.

And well now, this is where I lost any chances at all of making her my brand new babygirl Indian doctor wife.

For as she was still down there
on her knees in front of me...
wait, lemme just say that again...
on her knees in front of me,
accompanied by a fistful 'o junk.
Man, doesn't that just warm your little perverted hearts.


As she finished her explanation,
while still handling the goods mind you, I said...

So doc, since you're down there and all...
any chances of makin' the rest of my junk
as big and impressive as my new big nut?
It would really improve my sex life!

And yes... I almost, asked her to blow me,
like you thought I was going to,
but I really wanted to know about
the bigger junk instead!
Just sayin'.

Well if you were to ever look in the dictionary for the word disgust, you would see directly under that printed word
a picture of the very look my brand new
babygirl Indian doctor wife was giving me.

She just looked up at me, then down while listing her head back 'n fourth and disgustedly tossed my cock and big nut from her hand causing them
to slap against my inner thigh. LoL

It seemed to have happened in slow motion.
It was too funny.

And then she got to her feet but, with the slightest,
most lovable, adoring grin appearing
upon that beautiful olive-skinned face of hers.

That's right muthafucka,
the Mondello charm, perverted as it may be,
had broken through and won over yet another
incredible human being of the opposite gender.

Fuck you George Clooney, I'm the man now!

Oh but then she quickly tossed me right the hell
out of her office of course.

Sorry George, I apologize.
You're still the man!

But she did so while smiling from ear to ear
while the tiniest of glistening appeared
within her soothing eyes I must say.

Get out!
And I'll see you in a week or so.
Make sure you bring the sonogram film with you... Thomas!

I think she loves me??

What'ta ya think, do I have a shot??

There's just something about a strange woman holding your junk in the palm of her hand isn't there?

Once again... Kevin... “Is this heaven?”