Wednesday, December 18, 2013

And Then There Were Four

stupidity is just flat out funny!





And Then There Were Four

Have you ever stood up for your rights before?

Sure you have.

You do it every time you step into the voting booth and pull that lever. Every decision you make defends your freedom of choice.

It’s your right not to buy this, but to purchase that. So maybe you never had to stand in front of an oncoming tank to defend your rights.
(That happened in Tienanmen Square, China)

But, whether you know it or not, you’ve been standing up for them, your rights, all your life.

And hey, I’m no different than any of you out there. I’ve taken a stand on things before.
It didn’t always work out in my favor,
but my voice was heard muthafucka.
My delusional voice was heard!

I remember back in I.S.51, that’s right, those intermediate schooling days again.

I.S.51... Staten Island, New York I went here for grades 6, 7 & 8
Edwin Markham Junior High School
Houston Street Staten Island, New York

I had my share of run-ins with both teachers and principals. But this one particular event was by far my most creative crusade to date.

The Big Walkout!

Oooooooo… sounds so
anti-establishment doesn't it??

Well, in retrospect...
it sounds pretty stupid... LoL

Listen to this fuckin'
Jimmy Hoffa-less disaster.

If I remember correctly,

we the student body,
were upset over the policy change
during the taking of our midterms.

Usually during this time the faculty let everyone leave after all of the testing was complete. But for some reason on this go-around, the school decided to make everyone stay

for the complete day.

Now how bad does that suck?

Rackin' your poor little brains out all morning taking those ridiculous tests,
then not being able to leave.
C'mon dude.
This isn't fuckin' prison
for goodness sake!

Fuck that!

We’ll just have to do something
about this bullshit.

So, during the first break of the day, a couple of us started to tell people about the Big Walkout.

Kids would say...

what walkout?

And we’d say...

You know,
the one after the last test today!

Man, that rumor spread like a ten-dollar whore. It had taken on a life all its own in no time. I mean, within 15 minutes this was no longer classified as a rumor.
It was fact my friend!

The school was buzzing with anticipation. We couldn’t even concentrate on those stupid tests any longer. We wanted to walk baby. Walkout!

And before long,

we would get our chance.

About 12:30PM the bell rang ending the final hour of exams. And the students began to pile

outta their classrooms.

The hallways were electrified.

Everyone began to gather at the main front

and side entrance doors of the school.
But for some reason, no one was leaving!
We couldn’t understand why.

Then finally,

some of the kids started to chant,
WalkoutWalkout... Walkout!

But still, no one moved.

We needed someone, a Jimmy Hoffa if you will, to start the revolt. If one person left, then the rest would follow like sheep. Right? Right?

(I’ve seen way too many movies haven't I?)

Anyway, just as three other friends and myself crashed through the side doors into the alleyway yelling, WalkoutWalkout,
here came one of the principals,
and he had a chant of his own
going on as well!

Unfortunately for us 4 idiots, his chant seemed to have a little more bite to it than ours did!

This thing better end right here and right now! All of you better get back into those classrooms. If I catch anyone leaving this school,
they will be suspended!

And like Moses waving his staff, the hallways emptied in a matter of seconds as everyone headed back into their respective classrooms.
Unfucking-believable dude!

Ten Commandments Moses and staff part the ocean & empty the hallways!

I mean tumbleweeds began rolling by. Crickets were cricketing, or whatever crickets do. Hallways were empty muthafucka!
Void of life force!

The 4 of us, now standing outside in the side alleyway adjacent to the cemetery,
just let the door slowly close behind us.

We actually heard the echoing

of the lock tumblers engage.

Then... silence.

The only sound that was heard was the sound of the wind softly whispering...

L — o — s — e — r — s!

Of course, that would be us. The only 4 idiots to actual grow a pair and walkout. There we were standing outside the school looking in and wondering just what the fuck went wrong.

How did such a great idea go awry?

The great plan had quickly turned from a walkout to a walk in! Into class that is.

Needless to say, we felt pretty stupid standing out there. No one even knew that we were gone for goodness sake. So we couldn’t even take credit for being the only ones to walk out on a walkout that really wasn’t a walkout.

Aaar, you know what I mean!

And after a few moments of real fear, possible suspensions and all, our feelings quickly turned to embarrassment. We didn’t wanna be known as the only 4 assholes to walk out on a walkout

that wasn’t really a walk out.
(Crap, I’m fuckin’ dizzy from that fuckin' word already!)

So there was only one thing left to do.


And like every other day, we cut through the cemetery to Brother’s Pizzeria on Forest Ave. Where, for one dollar, you got

two slices of pizza and a small Coke.

Now how can you beat that?

You can’t!

Nowadays, you know what you get for a dollar? You get yelled at! That’s what.

Get the hell outta here kid!
Come back when you can afford something!

Well, after we wolfed down the pizza, we decided to try and sneak back into our class without being detected. Ya know, just in case

if they took some kind of attendance.

You remember, with those wacky Delaney books. I hated those things. The teacher would put a mark down each time you were cutting, oh oh, I mean each time you were out sick.

Delaney attendance book
Delaney card for attendance
Remember these fucking things... lol???
Mine always had a lot of red numbered dates circled!!

Luckily, I hung out with kids who knew how to get back into locked schools, or so they said. Because I had no fucking clue how to get back in without having our daily ritual in place.

(We used to put tape or a matchbook in place so the door latch couldn’t lock behind us. So after our illegal off-premise lunch, we could easily slip back into the building. Ingenious right!?)

But you know what?

They didn’t know how to pick a lock or anything cool like that either. These banana heads could hardly pick their own noses
let alone a locked door!

So you know what we did?

We just sat there and waited for someone to open the door from the inside. That was their big plan. And here I was expecting some sort of James Bond thing to happen.

I don’t know who was more stupid. Them for saying they could get us back in, or me for believing them! Thank Goodness I hung out with smart kids, huh? NOT!

Well, eventually someone actually did open the door, and we slipped back inside. Why the teacher didn't question us is beyond me?? He was probably making an illegal run for it himself!

By this time the students were just hangin’ out in the classrooms. No teaching was going on at all. The teachers needed the break

just as bad as we did.

So we had no trouble slipping back

into class undetected.

Hey man, where the fuck

have you guys been?
You missed it all!
The principal came out yelling and………………

If they only knew dude!

If they only knew!

The life of an activist, huh, you can have it!
I wonder if Martin Luther King
started out this way??

Any of you have a misadventure with school?